My life is pretty low right now, in fact, if it weren't for my daughter I would be licking the pavement. I have this master plan that I have been working on, but it is taking way too long and I have no idea how much longer I can wait.
Right now I have 0 dollars in the bank and the 10 that are there came out of my assh&^% husband's paycheck (which he reminds me of everyday since June when I left my job). I can't find a job to save my life. I actually applied to Blockbuster! I am pretty much done with the whole, "oh it's the economy," bullshit, because I think it is all just bullshit at this point. I also don't think Obama is our savior...I think it is going to be the same shit different day scenario for the next four years. I also don't think McCain would have made a difference either!
So, you read this blog and think I am just bitching...well let me give you a little insight. Ten minutes ago I got screamed at for not buying dinner while I was at the store buying diapers and milk for my daughter with my last 20 dollars. Then when I wanted to make tea in the microwave, I had to unplug some battery my assh^&* husband plugged in the microwave spot...Because I did that, my husband threw the charging battery (cord and all) across the room and then opened the closet door directly under my sleeping 2 year olds room and slammed it as hard as he could. My 2 year old is awake now. All because I didn't use a different plug.
Tomorrow my loser of a husband is taking his 2 older daughters and ex-wife to a modeling agency almost on the NY line... my 2 year old has no food and I had to be screamed at for buying only diapers with my 20 bucks! Modelling agencies...wonder how much that is going to cost them...we'll just add it to the $1075.00 he gives monthly for child support and all of the "extras" they are always in need of...last week it was a new keyboard for piano lessons and Angie's $1,700.00 class trip!
My daughter just needed diapers.
My mother thinks I should go back to school and learn a trade to better mine and Karis' life. That's all well and good, but what do we do now? I am trying so hard to be strong about this, and I know I have always bitched about money...but this is serious. People think I should move in with my parents, but that is not an option. Along with the stress of my daughter and I living in one tiny bedroom, what would I do with my entire house filled with stuff? It won't work.
I need a job that pays well so Karis and I can get the hell out of here and start our lives stress free. I don't know why I keep ending up in these f'd up situations, but I must have done something to someone because I have been miserable for a very long time and I am at the point where it is impossible to sugar coat.
So, if anyone knows how I can get out of here (belongings and all) please let me know.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
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